21 weeks

I always thought I'd get really into the whole pregnancy thing - taking way too many photos of my growing belly, keeping a journal as soon as I found out, bugging everyone around me with constant talk of the baby, that sort of thing. But so far that hasn't been the case. I was feeling bad about it but I'd still keep putting it off because it felt really dumb to start doing something like that at some random point. Then I decided to start at 20 weeks, you know, kinda the halfway point and on the day it ticked over to 20 weeks I felt like rubbish and didn't want to say anything to anyone, let alone the world at large or this little thing growing inside me. And finally, sometime last week, I realised it really doesn't matter and it's not worth stressing over. Maybe this is part of my attempt to get more prepared for motherhood - I am trying to be a little less of a perfectionist and not let the small things bug me so much. It's a fairly new goal for me, so no real idea how well it'll work out. Anyway, on Sunday, when the little counter thing I have told me I was 21 weeks pregnant, I made Graeme take a photo, and here it is:

We have attempted to take photos before this, but none of them came out that great - at least now we've found a spot in the house to take them...

Uh, yeah, so some random things I am discovering:

Morning sickness can last much longer than you think, especially if you let yourself get hungry or tired, and then, when you finally think it's gone, it can randomly hit you again one day for no apparent reason and you will just chuck your guts up. Thankfully, by this point, you will have become an expert at knowing when your body plans to projectile vomit and can make sure you are in a suitable room.

Your brain simply does not function the way it should. I usually have an awesome memory and some days I forget things 5 minutes after I've heard/read them. Words and sentences do not come out the way you think they should. Everytime I have cut up tomatoes in the last couple months, I have referred to them as strawberries :)

One day, your top (t-shirt, jacket, whatever) will fit. The next day, it won't. The problem won't just be your tummy, but also your boobs, which have suddenly become massive.

Maternity clothes are hard to find, often ugly and usually way too expensive for the fact that they definitely have a limited use. H&M is my new best friend, especially after the sales.

You get really sick of trying to work out how to refer to the baby. 'It' seems way too impersonal, but you don't want to label it with a gender, because then people will assume you know what it is. For the record, we don't plan on finding out the sex, but we still usually refer to it as 'he', since the odds are high that that is what we'll get. Either that, or Squishy :)
"I shall call him squishy, and he shall be mine, and he shall be my squishy!" -Dory in Finding Nemo

The fact that you have passed the first trimester doesn't really do much to alleviate your fears that something will go wrong. Much better are the little kicks that tell you the baby is having a party in your uterus (or, as Graeme said, building extensions), even if it prompts a sudden urge to pee. I am also hanging out for my ultrasound and midwife's appointment next week to get some extra reassurance that everything's fine. I'll also have a picture of Squishy to show you then.