Sunday, 21 May 2006

Eurovision 2006

This isn't a full-on review because I should be asleep, not typing, right now. But following are some notes about the night that I took while watching it (after pulling my laptop out during a particularly boring song - you'll see which). I won't comment about the winner because I don't want to spoil it for any Aussies who will watch it later tonight (their time).


six4one, because there were six of them, who all fit a perfect stereotype of a group member. Totally not controversial in any way imaginable = boring
Moldova The chick spent more time changing her outfit than singing. It was BAD.
Israel A questionably middle eastern black man sang half in Hebrew and half in English. Unfortunately we didn’t have the subtitles turned on at this point, so we're not totally sure what the song was about - peace or something, I think.
Latvia Sang a capella, which was a cool idea, but done rather poorly. I loved their costumes - off-white suits and white shirts in all different styles. They made some robot thing which had no relation to the song. Terry Wogan classic comment of the night: "They'll probably come last"
Norway Tall, blonde girls who actually had normal sized bodies. The song was OK, a "chick ballad" (Graeme's words) completely in English. Good voices - as in actual talent. I didn't think that was allowed.
Spain Las Ketchup sang Bloody Mary - Bloody Awful is more accurate.
Malta Back-up singer (who was hidden away on the side of the stage, presumably so you wouldn't see him) provided the only decent vocals of the performance.
Germany Aussie girl sings country surrounded by neon cactuses. So bad it was good. Loved that they had their website address on their mike stands
Denmark A girl accompanied by her sisters, apparently, and a dude who danced cool. Good, boppy song about a guy who could twist.
Russia Mullet man needed to take some singing lessons. He was easily outshone by the ballerinas.
FYR Macedonia Terrible. Trying to be Jessica Simpson from Dukes of Hazzard, only sluttier and less talented.
Romania Dude who sang good but had very poor English translations
Bosnia & Herzegovina Forgettable - so much so it was the point when I picked up my computer to do something else. They predicted it would do well though, even though we couldn't see why.
Lithuania Football chant sang by a line of guys in suits, one of whom only moved at all to perform a crazy, crazy dance "We are the winners of Eurovision" "vote for the winners" "VOTE!" Hilarious. The first song that made us consider voting, so I guess their ploy might work.
United Kingdom 'Daz' raps, badly, about not listening to teachers - I think that’s the message anyway, because he obviously didn't listen to his teachers when they were trying to teach him grammar, musicianship or life lessons.
Greece Nothing amazing - the crowd were into it, but it was in Athens after all. Stuck in the 80s.
Finland Demons of the apocalypse (or arockalypse, as they called it) sing a heavy rock number which really stood out from the pop. They looked awesome - full LotR orc-inspired makeup and everything, including wings that grew out of the lead singers back.
Ukraine Trying to be Shakira. Her Cossack dancers jumping rope was the coolest part.
France At least she sang the whole song in French - the first entry to sing the whole thing in their native language. A nice slow song of little consequence.
Croatia Continued in the tradition of France by being in the native language - also tried to sound like a folk song, but the lyrics were about high heels and an ex-boyfriend and didn't make sense.
Ireland Actually a nice song - too normal and mainstream for Eurovision.
Sweden The train of her dress was like one of those parachutes you play with as a kid… until it was pulled away to reveal a gold jumpsuit thing. Typical Swedish up-beat positive outlook number. I think she idolises Abba.
Turkey Old and crusty trying to be 17, complete with stomach flab in tight outfit. "I'm your superstar" "My brilliance will bedazzle you". The coolest thing they did was use their arms (the singer and her 4 British dancers) to form a star when viewed from above.
Armenia Ricky Martin without the looks, sex appeal or vocal talent. OK, he was better than some of the others, and performed by the right person, the song would be a hit, but you simply shouldn't try and do what you can't.

Stupid Heart shape with a Greek flag voting hourglass was obviously poorly designed and executed - the thing tipped over for crying out loud. Wouldn't you test something like that before putting it live in front of millions of people?

The hosts were 'amazing' - just ask them. They must've said it 100 times during the night. Terry Wogan picked up on it too and started to comment every time they said it. Funny.
(and they actually weren't amazing, just in case you didn't catch the sarcasm over the www)

1 comment:

  1. Your comments about the various acts is just so brilliant - we have been checking up as the contest continues being shown now in Australia. Dad loves the comment for Finland - and yes we know cause it was announced this morning on the radio, they did give warning to not listen if you wanted to watch tonight