Bound to Happen

So, Tuesday was a very productive day for me (you know, in case you couldn't tell from the 4 blog posts). I updated websites, did some emailing and facebooking, got laundry sorted, thought I was finally making progress on my massive to-do list.
Then, Tuesday night, Lily decided she wasn't going to sleep, wanted to feed every hour, etc, in preparation for yesterday, when I could hardly put her down without her bursting into tears. Mid-afternoon, I realised she was feeling very warm, took her temperature (as best I could - she really does not like me sticking the thermometer under her arm) and decided it was time for the paracetamol, which thankfully kicked in and she was actually pretty happy for the rest of the evening, if a little sleepier than usual. I put it down to the lingering effects of a little cold she's had and the fact that her tooth is coming through.
Fast-forward to just before 3am this morning. Lily wakes up for a feed and is burning up. I couldn't get the thermometer to finish it's reading (wiggly Lily), but it was already over 39 when it had slowed right down. Graeme got on the phone to NHS Direct and over the next hour or so spoke to a nurse and then the on-call doctor about what we needed to do. Thankfully, another dose of paracetamol, opening up the window a slit and taking off all her clothes but her nappy combined to help cool her little body down and we were able to get a bit more sleep. We took her to the doctor just after midday just to get her checked out, since we are supposed to be going away on Saturday morning and we don't want to leave the country if she's really ill, but the doc said she is a bit red in the ears and throat, but from what we'd told her is probably at the end of a viral infection and she didn't need antibiotics or anything.
Obviously, since I'm getting the chance to write this, she's doing much better this afternoon. Still a bit warm and not much of an appetite, but playing and smiling. Well, except right at this minute, because she's just decided she's hungry and tired...

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So annoyed right now...

...I don't really feel like writing a blog post, but I figured it would be easier than explaining it to people individually. So, some of you knew that I got a phone call last week offering me 3 days a week at one school for the rest of the year (which is actually only 4 weeks, but as my aim is to work at least 10 days before the end of the year, it's perfect). I was hesitant to accept, because it was a bit of a hike - over an hour by public transport and who knows how long by car in London's peak hour traffic - but I was assured that I could consider today a trial and needn't go back if I didn't have a good day.

Well, turns out I don't actually have a choice either way. The agency dude obviously fed me a pack of rubbish to try and get me there so he'd his commission cheque or something. The school does need someone 3 days a week, but they considered today purely a trial - no guarantee of any further work. In fact, they've got someone else coming in later in the week to do a trial day for the same position, which seems a bit ridiculous to me when they are clearly seeking some continuity in this particular situation, but that's their choice, and I'm not annoyed at them for running their school the way they want to. I am annoyed at the guy from the teaching agency though and when I rang to find out what the hell was going on and spoke to his manager instead, I had no problems telling him how pissed off I was (don't worry, I was very civil and proper and didn't actually use any inappropriate words).

And it REALLY sucks, because it actually seems like a pretty nice place to work and the 10 or so days of work would have made some progress towards me feeling better about my whole situation. Seriously though, if they don't pull their act together, I will be signing up with another agency before publicly outing the name and details of this crappy agency and actively discouraging everyone I know from doing business with them.

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This is what happens when you're sick

A quick update:
Monday - worked
Tuesday - Graeme felt sick, we both stayed home. Still went out to the theatre though, which might've been a mistake...
Wednesday - Now we both were sick
Thursday - Graeme went back to work (another mistake), I stayed in bed half the day and was very unproductive for the rest.
Friday - Graeme felt worse again, but still went to work, silly boy. I stayed in and attempted to recover.

After that week, you can probably imagine that we didn't do much this weekend. Graeme worked on reformatting his computer (and all the backing-up and then re-installing that that involves) and I did some of my scrapbook, which is woefully behind, and made some postcards for my first ever online swap, which I can't show you until they reach their destinations (Canada, New Zealand and the USA). I kinda felt bad, since I haven't even sent my friends and family any postcards since we came here, but it was the perfect little project to try out this whole swapping thing. I liked doing it though, so there might be some handmade postcards in your future (well, those of you whose addresses I have, which I admit is not that many).

Anyway, that is why the somewhat regular posting habit that I was establishing fell to pieces this week.... Now, on to the play review.

Boeing Boeing is set in the 60s, right when Boeing were introducing the 747. There's a playboy guy that lives in Paris and has a rotation of 3 flight attendants that spend their layovers in Paris at his house. He is engaged to all of them and none of them know about the others. It is working fine, until Boeing introduce their new plane, which means faster travel and turnaround times. And, of course, whackiness ensues. The best characters are the maid and the friend of the playboy, who have fantastic reactions to the whole situation. Some of it does feel dated, but all the old bitties in the audience loved it :) It was funny, if a bit predictable, and was kind of like watching a romantic comedy on a stage instead of a screen.

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stupid weather

From my Google homepage at 8.15pm Saturday (which is 5.15am Sunday in Sydney):So the sun is still technically up here (although the sunlight isn't really breaking through the rain clouds) and Summer starts next week. And its only one degree warmer than the coldest part of the day in a city that is a week away from Winter. How depressing.

This is the spring long weekend, too... I'm kind of glad we didn't get around to planning any of the trips we were thinking of.

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Hey, jerk in the white van

It's called a speed limit, it's not just a suggestion. It is, in fact, required by law that I drive under or at the same speed as the little number on all the signs we are passing. Or maybe you are too busy looking at my car to see the signs. At least, I hope you're looking at my car, because if I brake and you're not looking, you will certainly hit me. And oh, by the way, rather than sitting on my arse, you can overtake me if you don't like the fact that I can see the signs and am driving at the speed limit. See that lane just to the right of us? I know there's no cars in it at the moment, but you're allowed to drive there too.

Oh, and while we're at it...

You, the dude in the big, ugly, black, 4wd thing. Let's forget the rant about your massive car and the fact that you clearly think you own the roads for a moment and concentrate on the matter at hand. That was two bits of plastic packaging you just threw out your window. Where do you think that's going to end up? It certainly won't decompose and will probably end up in the river. Don't you think the Thames (and most of London along with it) is polluted enough? Way to set an example for the kids sitting in the back seat.

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i know, i know...

I promised updates and there haven't been any. Well, there's a reason - basically that I've been in too bad a mood to write anything. So now, you get an insight into how much my life is sucking right now...

As you (probably) know, I quit my job at Christmas because it was making me miserable. I had an interview the day after my last day for another job - I never heard ANYTHING back from them (which is rude and unexpected, given the organisation it was with, but that's a whole other rant). I went through a couple of months trying to work out what I actually wanted to do, a decision that really still hasn't been made. Our pre-booked holidays ran out and we were getting low on funds to do new things, so we decided that I should just apply to do some teaching supply work to at least get the money flowing again. I contacted the agency that seemed the best for me... I'm trying to work out how to say everything without giving away too many details to identify them. Anyway, basically it has been one big farce - incompetent moron after incompetent moron giving me different and/or wrong answers and advice to the same issues. They had issues getting in touch with my reference in Australia and expected me to be able to sort it out. They finally got it sorted over the weekend sometime. This was supposed to be the last thing stopping me from getting work. I got a phone call on Monday to say I can't work until I have a police clearance check from Australia. They had told me I didn't need this. I could've sorted it out 6 weeks ago when the whole thing started, but they told me they would help me do it and then, like I said, that I didn't actually need it. Now I have to work out how to get this friggin' police check without actually being in Australia. It could take another 6 weeks before I can work. I have called them out on their incompetence more than once now and they are always apologetic and say that the people doing/saying the wrong things will get spoken to. But those people still have jobs, don't they?

The thing is, I don't even want to teach here anymore. Its not just my terrible experience at the crappy school. Its the teenagers you see everywhere and their complete lack of respect for anyone or anything. Its the crappy school system they have that places huge emphasis on grades and results and no emphasis on creating functional members of society. Its the other teachers who couldn't care less about the kids and just went into teaching because they couldn't do anything else. Its the fact that its taking me a ridiculous amount of time and paperwork just to be a glorified babysitter. Yet, I feel like its what I need to do, because its the best way for me to make some money and about the only thing I am really qualified to do right now. I feel like this makes me a hypocrite because I only want to teach for the money, but at the moment, its true.

Back home, I loved being a teacher. Unlike many people in this world, I actually enjoy hanging out with young people, teaching them new things, learning from them, watching them grow. I'm starting to think that I shouldn't be teaching though - that I should be working with teenagers in some other capactiy - alternative education or youth work/ministry or something. But none of those things seem within reach here, especially given the fact that I need to be making money so we can continue to travel and do new things. But how am I supposed to make money if I can't even get a job?

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a quick update...

...just to let you know i am still here and am aware i have a lot of things to tell you about still (like my progress on my 101 list and reviewing a heap of shows/films), but on top of the jetlag i got sick and now, it seems i am already getting some hayfever (which until last spring i never realised could be so bad), so my days have felt very short and unproductive.

the one thing i can say will probably continue to be updated regularly is my flickr, even if its only one photo every other day, because i am participating in a challenge/competition to take photos inspired by every letter of the alphabet.

sorry its not more exciting news...

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since i love, honour and OBEY my husband...

...i am updating my blog :)

basically, graeme has decided to actually start using his blog again and so just now criticised the fact that i haven't updated since january 11. but really, i've had nothing much to say...

i've spent a ridiculous amount of time on the couch over the last few weeks, owing partly to the fact that i am unemployed, but mostly to the constant procession of colds/flus i seem to be catching - and i don't even go outside much, so g must bring them home with him from the notorious london underground or something. i just seem to get over one thing and something else flares up.

so, i've done an update...
plenty more to come this week, i think, because i do actually have some things to post/say and i do actually seem to be getting completely better. in the meantime, check out our website to see what things i have dragged myself out of the house for...

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done and dusted

that's right - i have had my last day at my unhappy job. it was actually really hard to say goodbye to some of the kids, especially when they were all being so sweet, giving me cards, gifts and hugs and begging me not to leave. but i just kept telling them (and myself) that i couldn't stay in a job i didn't like for the 20 minutes a day i did actually enjoy.

i'm a bit stressed about this job interview tomorrow - i have to do some presentations as part of it and i just found out this afternoon that the reason i hadn't got any of the extra info i'd requested is that their email server is being stupid and not letting emails through, or something. i finally have some of the info i wanted but i'm feeling totally underprepared and too tired to do anything about it... so of course i am procrastinating by writing a blog post instead of working on it.

i still have a bunch of presents to wrap, some suitcases to pack (although i won't be taking many clothes - i need to do some serious shopping, especially since my favourite jeans have a hole in them :( ), some laundry to finish, a kitchen to clean and a bunch of other things to do before i get on the plane on friday... a big part of me is actually looking forward to spending 20-something hours on a plane - there's nothing to do but sleep, read and watch movies.

oh, and in case you didn't notice - i'm too lazy to use capital letters today.

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Prepare for a long one...

...because I am certain it will be long.

I know its been forever since I blogged - my sister asked me why the other day and I said it was because all my news was depressing. I finally feel like I'm in a position to share everything thats been going on, but I don't know where to start...

OK, so its been pretty clear from early on that I wasn't enjoying my job. About a month ago, I had that week off sick and begrudgingly went back in. My third day back, I got verbally attacked by another teacher in front of a class. I'm not going to go into the details of why and what she said, but lets just be clear that I had done nothing to deserve it. I almost walked out then and there - seriously considered walking past the office, telling them they'd never see me again, getting my stuff and leaving. The only thing that stopped me was that my students supported me and said I was in the right.

As part of reporting it to my head of department, I let him know how seriously I was considering leaving. He asked me to put the incident in writing and to let him know if there was anything more he could do to make my job better.

After writing out what had happened, I included this (copied direct from the email I sent him):

I’m still thinking on sorting out my own thoughts, but I know that part of the reason I am unhappy here is that I purposefully applied for jobs at Christian/Church of England schools, knowing that schools in London can be tough and assuming that I could at least expect some basic love, honour and respect approaches from staff and students at a Christian school. I’m not feeling as though I work at a Christian school. People (staff and students) seem to think its OK to treat each other like garbage. When I try and do bible-centred discussions with my form group, its an uphill struggle. I have actually had a student (not from my form) say that she didn’t understand why some teachers tried to talk about Christian stuff when most of the students aren’t Christians. The last school I worked at, although a state-funded, non-faith high school, felt more like a Christian school than this one does, because a lot of the teachers were Christians and the environment was mostly a loving one where there was mutual respect and the students were always the number one priority for every teacher at the school.

I know for a fact this email got forwarded to the deputy in charge of our department and then the head teacher (principal). I had one discussion with the deputy who said we would talk again later - we haven't. Nothing has happened to the teacher who yelled at me. The working environment has not got any better. Why then were they surprised when I handed in my resignation last week? Mainly because it sent them into a spin about how they were going to replace me, I suspect. Especially since I said I wasn't going back after Christmas. They tried to tell me that I couldn't do this - that I would be breaking my contract. I argued that, besides the fact that I have never seen/signed a contract (they tried to say I had a verbal one, which is legally binding in this country, but since I they haven't upheld the conditions they placed on themselves.... anyway), they shouldn't want a teacher in the school who isn't passionate about working there (although, just between you and me, there are plenty of those at this school). I guess I convinced them that they weren't going to break me with their "legal talk" or something, because its all official now, even though, apparently, any reference they write me will "have to include mention of the fact I broke my contract" - pppphhhhhhhhhh whatever - I just need to get out of there. I am currently writing out a full breakdown of my reasons for leaving - I'll let you know when its done if you want to read it.

On a happier note, I have already applied for another job. Its not a teaching job and its not even a design job, but its something I think I'd be really good at. I don't want to say too much about it publicly yet, but I have an interview next Thursday. So 5 days left of my job, an interview the following day and then, next Friday, we get to go home for Christmas :) Hopefully happy Kate will reemerge with better, more regular news soon.

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Working out Work

I ended up having the rest of the week off last week, as in I only went in on Monday. I saw the doctor on Thursday and he gave me that great news you always love to hear when you feel like rubbish - its a virus and there's nothing you can do but stay hydrated and take some ibuprofen/paracetomol.

So I spent 4 days at home, making my Butter Menthols last as long as possible and very slowly recovering. It gave me lots of time to think and as I got better, the idea of going back to work did not make me happy. I've realised this is the first job I've EVER had where I wake up EVERY morning and wish I didn't have to go. I mean, every job has its bad days, the shifts or classes you'd rather avoid, but nothing has made me feel like this. I am still trying to determine for myself exactly what it is that is making this an unhappy experience, partly so I can decide exactly what I should/could be doing to change it, mostly because I want to give them a really good reason when I quit. Because thats how I'm feeling right now - like I'd be better off working in a supermarket.

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No creative title

So where have I been?

We went to Athens over half-term (there are only 3 school terms here and there is a single week break halfway through each of them). It was nice to get away from school and go somewhere a bit warmer for a few days. I would direct you to our website, but since I haven't had time to upload any photos or anything, its probably not all that interesting...

School started back last Monday. I REALLY didn't want to go, for various reasons combined. Then, on Wednesday, we found out that the school was going to get inspected this week. One of the side effects of the British love of paperwork is that everyone is held accountable for everything, even stuff they have no control over. So there is this company/ organization/ government-department/ i-have-no-idea-what-they-actually-are that go around and inspect schools and say how good they are at various things then give them an overall rank. Then their report and every statistic under the sun is available to the general public, which basically means the good schools get better as the competition for places gets harder and the bad schools get worse as good students and teachers go elsewhere. Anyway, the inspectors have been and gone and our school, which was struggling, is on the improve and has been OKed. Not that I really care, but the British teachers sure do, so everyone spent a week stressed out and on-edge about the blooming inspection and everything else got put aside or on hold. I lost my afternoons for the week and spent most of the weekend in bed with the flu. I knew I was getting sick, but stupidly went out with Graeme and his brother to Windsor and got hit hard on Saturday afternoon. So a tonne of stuff that I was planning on doing never happened - the school musical is in like 4 weeks and there are a bunch of set pieces and costumes to make that aren't even started yet...

So basically, what that probably incoherent paragraph said is that I have been sick and busy. And the weather took a sudden cold turn and the sun sets at like 4.30 and its miserable and depressing. So obviously I'm loving being in London right now... NOT.

On the plus side, some of the teachers I am working with are awesome and a couple of the other Aussies (and one American chick) and I had a great laugh at how serious everyone suddenly became when they found out about the inspection. They keep me sane. And a couple of my classes are super (like 3 out of the 11) and help me to remember why I put up with the kids I want to kill. Like my year 9 class I had this morning. I taught them for 2 hours (a double lesson) this morning and it was the first time in ages I hadn't had to raise my voice during a lesson, well, other than to tell them that I wasn't joking when I told them they needed to pack up - they were so into their projects they didn't want to stop and that made my day. And they're producing top quality work, which is ace.

So now I've babbled on for ages - hopefully I've given some insight into whats been going on. If it makes no sense, I will just choose to blame the fact that I'm still sick, OK?

Here's a pretty picture I took of the last rose of the season outside our living room window (that's it in the background). I'm on a mission to take more photos and get better at doing so, so I will try and post some more often.

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The new school year

Yes, that's right - school has started and the first full week of lessons is done and dusted. Everyone has been asking how its been, so I guess I should let you know.

Its actually a good thing I left writing something like this until the weekend, because I went through a bit of a low patch, but have talked to a couple of other teachers and am feeling much better (though not completely - that may not happen at all). The main problem is struggling with the way things are done here, especially in terms of what the focus of teaching seems to be - getting students through exams, achieving high grades to make the school look good and teaching to standardised levels. So many of the things I value in good teaching don't apply here because things are expected to be done certain ways and students have the system drilled into them so much that any deviation from it just confuses them. We're expected to produce, and stick fairly rigidly to, lesson plans, which doesn't allow for the dynamic nature of anything, especially my subject area. By my second lessons, I was not working from the lesson plans I initially submitted. Anyway, I don't want this whole blog to become about teaching, so I will be avoiding it as a topic here from now on. I'm not totally sure what I'll have to write about though, since work seems to be consuming my life at the moment…

The weather is back to being cool most of the time (although I think they'd classify it here as warm - hovering around the 20 mark) and the days are getting shorter fast. Soon we will be travelling to and from work in the dark. I guess no-one ever said we were moving here for the weather, but it is quite depressing at times - no real sun for days, living in long pants and always having a jacket handy. Add that to the level of pollution and the constant feeling of being surrounded by people and I'm really not getting how people can come to London from Australia and think it’s a better place to live.

Not the most positive of updates, sorry (although I'm sure some of you are a little glad that I'm not in love with the place - at least you know we won't be here forever). In future, I will try to post about more happy, interesting things.

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All's Well That Ends Well

I went in this morning, told them they needed to sort it by the end of the week or I was out of there. By lunch time, the other new teacher and I had swapped classloads. So now I'm teaching graphics and I have the job I thought I had taken. I thought about deleting the previous post, and I might decide to in a bit, but I am still annoyed with what happened and the stress I was put through. I am just so thankful that the other new teacher is an amazing Christian woman who was willing to do the swap when she found out the whole story. I actually think things will be better this way for her as well though, because there is a great technician/assistant up in the food room who has already alleviated most of her concerns and reasons for not wanting to take on food. So I've met a couple of my new classes and am so relieved that I feel so much at home in the new room already. So everyone who was praying and stressing for/with me - Thanks. Things are on the up and I am excited about the job again.

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What do I do?

OK, so that job I was so excited about has turned to poop. This is going to be long and not very uplifting, but I need to vent (and hopefully get some advice, if there's any out there in internet land)

Basically, two people are leaving the DT department - one is the food teacher and current head of department, the other teaches graphics. When I interviewed and spent the day with the new head of department, we talked about Graphics and Resistant Materials (like NSW's Industrial Technology), checking out the workshop that I would be taking over, talking about units of work that I had worked with, new ideas, etc. I took the job with the understanding that I would be teaching mainly Graphics with some Resistant Materials and they would be continuing to seek out a Food specialist.

I talked to the new Head of Department a couple of times over the 2 weeks between the interview and the induction day last week. He told me they had hired someone who was great and experienced and all that, but that as a result, I might have to teach some Food. I reluctantly said that was OK (what else could I say?). The next time we spoke, he said that it looked like my timetable would be mostly food. I wasn't excited or positive about this, but said I could handle it as long as I got to teach something else as well. He assured me that I would still get to spend some time with the A level Product Design group at least. I wasn't very excited about the job anymore.

By the time I got to the induction day last Tuesday, the timetables were done and I had nothing but food. OK, I exaggerate - I have a form group (like roll call/home room) and one class a week of what I would've called Health when I was in high school (you know, the theory stuff you do in your PE class, like living skills, sex ed, citizenship, etc - yeah, random whoevers teach it here, with VERY little help or guidance [read that as 'I had no idea what we were doing or why']).

OK, I thought, this kind of sucks, but I'm here now, I can handle it. I spent Tuesday afternoon, after the official inductiony bit (which was not very helpful in getting us prepared for starting less than a week later) helping them to transfer a bunch of stuff from another school that is closing down - heaps of materials and things that I would never get to use working in the Food room.

I met with the current food teacher on Thursday to discuss the schemes of work and all that. None of it was super appealing to me, but it seems to work and I was fairly sure I'd be able to run with it, making changes where I thought I could or whatever. I didn't look at it and think, this is a great starting point and then I will add my own flair, like I usually do though. It was more like, I have to run with this, otherwise I will be spending every waking hour between now and September trying to work out how on earth I am supposed to teach Food Tech every day of the year.

On the weekend, the whole gravity of the situation hit me and I ended up in tears, several times.
I had accepted the job because I thought I'd be teaching the areas I know best. If they had said to me "We'd like to offer you a job but you have to be the Food teacher" I wouldn't have taken it. I have nothing against food or the people that teach it, but I am a trained DESIGNER and Food Tech is not design, even if you set creative projects.
Tying into that, I feel as though I was misled and/or cheated out of a job. Not just the job I thought I had accepted (at this school, teaching what I know), but also any other job I could've got between then and now (at another school). I actually had an interview lined up for the following day with a trial class teaching a GCSE Graphics class - I doubt they would've hired me and then made me teach food...
I'm so disappointed that I focussed on applying for jobs at Christian schools because that's the environment I want to work in, where I know I have the opportunity to help young people see Christ, and then I get treated worse than anyone has ever treated me in a professional capacity.
I have two GCSE classes, one in each year, and I don't feel as though I can provide the education they need or deserve, especially after seeing the current food teacher in action today (she's an awesome teacher and food is her speciality, so she really knows what she's talking about) - I just don't have the knowledge or skills myself, so how on earth am I supposed to pass everything onto the students?

To make my misery complete, we got a phone call this morning to say that Graeme's Great-grandfather had passed away. In itself, this isn't life-shattering - its sad, yes, but he was very old and ill. It was more the hitting home of the realisation that we are so far from home and the people we love. This was literally as I should've been walking out the door.

So I get to school later than I wanted to and feeling pretty bad, but somehow, I can't bring myself to say anything to anyone, almost hiding behind the death as the reason for my being a bit off. That was, until lunch time, when the new Head asked me how I was going and I simply said "I'm not very happy about having to teach food". It spiralled from there - pretty much everything I've said above came out. The current Head of department (remember, she's also the food teacher) had no idea any of this was going on because she had basically been kept out of the whole process. She has been great - sympathetic, understanding, supportive - I wish I was going to be working with her.

So after talking to them and going through everything, I basically feel like I need to get another job. The other person who has been hired in was appointed by the Head (Principal) and is basically getting whatever she wants, simply because of the other skills she brings (she'll be a head of year and has extra qualifications) and she doesn't WANT to teach food, even though she has experience doing so. They've said they can shuffle some classes around but I won't lose the GCSE, which is the classes I'm most concerned about (I can teach junior DT in any area, no issue). I feel like I'm being pushed out of a job that I was genuinely excited about and am angry, hurt, annoyed, but mostly just sad.

So what do I do?
Its going to be even harder to get a job now, because there are like 3 weeks left until summer and most positions for next year are filled. I need a job, but not badly enough to risk my sanity for it - we can survive on Graeme's income, but there's not a lot left spare. I don't want to do day-to-day teaching because it sucks and I'm not enough of a nasty teacher to make it work for me.
Do I stick it out until I can find something better?
Do I just call them and tell them to shove it?
Help, please.

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